You realize by now that influence is a precarious thing.
What can take years to build can be lost or squandered overnight. It happens every day to leaders, and often they’re the last to see it.
So how do you end up losing influence as a leader, without even trying?
Well, let’s first clarify how influence and leadership work.
I believe John Maxwell is right, leadership is influence. If you want to know whether you’re a leader, look over your shoulder to see if anyone’s following. If they are, you’re a leader, regardless of your title. And if not, you probably aren’t, regardless of your title. Your leadership rises and falls with your influence. Period.
Second, I also think Andy Stanley is completely accurate when he says that leadership is always a stewardship; it’s temporary, and we’re accountable.
Did you catch that?
Our influence is temporary.
It was given to us by God for a purpose.
It can be taken away.
One day we will give an account for how we used it.
Leaders who take that seriously, I think, become the leaders most worth following.
And the most effective leaders also realize you can squander your influence quickly, without trying.
Here are 10 easy ways to lose your influence.
1. Make ‘Likability’ A Goal
Being liked is an occasional by-product of leadership; it is not the goal of leadership.
In fact, some of the most effective leaders are not liked. And it’s not just because of a ‘personality defect’. Moses, Jesus, Paul and most of the prophets were, in many seasons, hated by the people they led.
That kind of affection would crush many of the ‘leaders’ I know in the church today.
This is no excuse to be an arrogant, brash or uncaring leader. Bully pulpits or platforms are not the goal either.
But sometimes, even when you lead with both humility and conviction, you will still not be liked. That’s okay.
If you try to be liked by everyone, you will ultimately stand for nothing and lead no one anywhere significant.
2. Compromise Morally, In Big Or Small Ways
There are obvious categories of moral failure that will evaporate your influence instantly; have an affair, steal or commit a crime and you’ll lose influence instantly.
You don’t even have to be a Christian leader to fall this way. The headlines are littered with athletes, politicians and public figures who have cheated, lied and broken trust.
But aside from ‘major failings’, small compromises will sap your influence over time as well. Shade the truth. Exaggerate. Do things you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about, even though they’re not illegal. This catches up with you.
The people who see you every day get a pretty accurate sense of where your moral compass actually points. And even if people don’t, God does.
People want to follow someone with an authentic moral compass. And God wants leaders who really seek him. The more your compass is off, even a little, the more you squander influence.
Carey Nieuwhof is an author, pastor, and podcaster focused on helping leaders across the United States and Canada. Carey was also a friend that walked me through a difficult leadership season in my life! You should follow Carey and you can find out what he is doing at CareyNieuwhof.com!