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Awkward moments lead to intimacy. I’m not saying that we enjoy awkward moments but just stop and think about this idea with your small group. Intimacy in the context of small group is born when someone is willing to ask the awkward question and someone else is willing to be vulnerable and honest enough and speak up. Awkward moments can really build intimacy with the small group and you lead and as the leader you have to have the courage to lead your group to that place. You will never want to. You will always resist the idea. You will have to guide your group through the awkwardness. You will also get to watch your small group connect on a different level if you dare to deal with the awkward. Here are a few awkward moments in student and kids ministry that can really help your group experience intimacy…

  • Ask the hard questions / without hard questions everything stays at surface level. Small group leaders have to follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit and be willing to ask hard questions even when it is uncomfortable.
  • Show up on their turf / I have never wanted to go to an event at a school but when I show up in their world it always pays off. It may be awkward to head to a game or to school lunch but it communicates you care to kids and teens.
  • Write a random note / for no reason just sit down and write a note or send a message. Just let them know you care and encourage them.
  • Admit weakness / when you admit you are wrong and that you make mistakes you help your group see your real. Details are not always needed to admit weakness so feel free to admit what is needed for your small group.
  • Protect people in the group / be willing to stand up for people in your group when they need someone to stand for them. When people feel protected and safe they will let their guard down.
  • Do something difficult / as a group do something that is hard and demands courage and faith. Take a risk together and make a difference.
  • Confront a problem / when there is a problem in the group confront it. Don’t allow a problem in the group linger around and harm the group. Confront it!
  • Set the standard / go ahead and push your group to a new place spiritually. Set the standard high and see what happens.
  • Be present in pain / when people are hurting just be there to help them process. When a group processes pain together they learn to support and serve each other.