Help Me Break Out of Jail!

May 22, 2013 — Leave a comment

jailIf you are a regular reader of this blog I need your help raising support for the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA)! Believe it or not, I’m going to jail and I need your help.  Actually, I’m headed to the McGregor Park RiverWalk in Clarksville on May 22nd for lunch and music and fun. So while it’s not a real jail, it’s even more important as I’m raising “bail” to help children and adults with muscle disease in my community who are supported by the vital work of the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA). I might not be able to rely on good behavior to get out so that’s why I need your help.  I need you to donate to my bail!  Just head to my donation page click on the donation button to make a secure donation. I know that together we’ll Make a Muscle and Make a Difference in the fight against muscle disease.

If 40 of you donate just 10 bucks I can hit my goal of 800.00! Tonight I am 400.00 away so I need your help getting to my goal. I just want to help families that are facing these terrible diseases so their child can go to summer camp this summer and have the time of their life. Join me and make a difference with me!

Click here to make a donation! Thanks for making a difference!

In family ministry, leadership
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Lead Well & Have Fun

May 21, 2013 — Leave a comment

FUNLeadership and fun…we don’t connect the two together very often. When we think about leadership we think about goals, struggle, progress, and challenge. Fun does not seem to connect but in reality if you’re not having fun as you lead you might be closer to a crash and burn than you think. I learned a long time ago and work gets so much better when you have fun doing it.

When I was a teenager I worked for my grandparents on their farm. I had the job of prepping a massive chicken barn for new chickens to come in every seven weeks. It was hard work but I figured out that if the day would go better is I just chose to have some fun. I set goals for myself and tried to get improve all day long just to add some competition even if it was with me, myself, and I. Another trick was to crank up the radio because rock and roll makes everything better. The work was hard but having fun was a choice.

If you’re not having fun as you lead it’s probably because you are choosing to not have fun. You can blame it on everyone else if you want but having fun as you lead is a choice you have to make. Fun begins with attitude and attitude is a choice we make as we start the day.

If you are reading this post you are probably serving kids, teens, or college students and you should be having way too much fun as you lead. You have the best job in the universe. Next generation ministry should be the hub of fun for the church. Next Gen ministry should push the church to have the heart of a child and every child I know loves to have fun. Lead well and make sure and have way too much fun at the same time. God created work and God created laughter…go ahead and try to combine both everyday!

 

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In family ministry, leadership
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Are They Engaging?

May 20, 2013 — Leave a comment

HeartIt’s an age old question if you create a worship experience for any age group. Are they engaging? Is worship happening in the worship experience that we have worked so hard to create. When you look around the room do do you sense people are going for it? It’s really hard to figure it out since worship is a matter of the heart and an offering to God not the worship leaders on stage.

When you are evaluating any environment stop trying to gauge “worship” and start looking for how people are engaging with the environment. Trying to guess what people are thinking or feeling is tricky and can be a trap for any worship leader or speaker. Here are a few things we try to remember as we evaluate the experience…

  1. Just because they are not singing does not mean they are not engaging // Maybe it’s a new song. Maybe the crowd is full of people who don’t like to sing. When it comes to men, middle schoolers, and pre-teen boys singing can’t be the only measure for how the day went. You can’t see what is going on in the head or heart of someone in the crowd.
  2. The experience is much bigger than the songs selected // Engagement is not just dependent on singing the right songs…the entire service is a movement. The welcome matters, announcements matter, the message matters, and yes the songs are a big deal. Every element of the service will either help or hurt the engagement factor.
  3. If we want people to engage they deserve us to bring our best // Every week matters and gives us a chance to connect with people on a heart level. If we want people to engage in our services we better give them our best and strive for consistency!
  4. Less distraction leads to more engagement // Work every week to eliminate anything in the service that is a distraction. We are all human so things will go wrong!  Excellence not perfection is the goal.
  5. Laughter matters // Laughter allows people to let their guard down. Give people a chance to laugh and I promise they will engage on a different level. We always need to be careful to not take ourselves so serious.
  6. Listen to feedback but put it in perspective // One complaint is not the feeling of the entire room. One compliment is not the experience of the entire room. Feedback and social media response to your gathering is important to listen to but make sure and keep it in perspective!

 

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In children's ministry, family ministry, youth ministry
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Why Should I Stay?

May 16, 2013 — 1 Comment

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We can all talk about reasons we have for leaving the ministry/church we lead! Come on, be honest…you know there are things that drive you crazy about your position. Many times when we talk about finding the right environment to serve in we talk about moving to a new place and starting over.

There is another option that I want to throw out for you to think about. Here it is…STAY. Yes, stay right where you are at and work to courageously lead your organization from your leadership position toward health. What is the worst thing that could happen? You could get fired for trying to lead with passion. That is a great way to loose your job! So with that said, here some reasons to stay and serve right where God has you…

  • Trust is earned  // When you prove to your organization you are in for the long haul people listen. The more trust you have from those you lead the more risks you get to take in leading strong.
  • Relationships matter // We are in the relationship business. Developing significant relationships in your community and your church takes time. When you stay you get to continue to invest in those relationships.
  • The grass is not greener // If you cannot lead with contentment where you are stop looking for the next position right now. The next position you have will not be the perfect position, it will be a job with many of the same challenges you face just in a different context. Find contentment and passion serving where you are at before you move to that next role.
  • Responsibility // Have you accomplished what you said you needed to accomplish in your current role? Why not stay and finish? Do what you said you were going to do, and yep if you get fired you get fired finishing strong!
  • Family // A stable home life for your kids and your wife is a big deal. Jesus never called us to climb a ministry ladder, he called us to follow him. Maybe it’s not Jesus calling you to that next church but rather the title, raise, or bigger ministry budget. If your wife and kids are not in sync with a move maybe you should stay.
  • The voice of God // Has God given you direction to invest your life in your current city or church? If he has and trust God and stay. You serve God. Obey God.

I have had each of these STAY factors play out in my time of serving churches. I have had times when I had to just obey God, earn trust, value relationships, and STAY. Some of my greatest mentors in ministry have been people who have made the choice to stay and serve for the long haul. Thanks to all of you who are setting that example. It matters!

There will come a time when you know it’s time to leave but before you do why not slow down and process all the reasons you have the STAY!

In family ministry, leadership, youth ministry
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One Clear Goal for Volunteers

May 15, 2013 — Leave a comment

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Helping volunteers know our goal is crucial. Our teams need the “win” defined consistently if they are going to be effective. One of the questions we keep asking, one goal we have for our team here is this…

What have I done to help someone have a better experience at church this week?

We have one hour a week with many people. We have one chance to connect with visiting families. We have one shot to help share the love of Christ with many kids and teens. We have to continually ask ourselves what we are doing to make that one shot better. When you evaluate Sunday (or your ministry experience for any age group) in the light of this question everything becomes significant…

  • the moment I help that new student find some friends is a significant moment
  • when we prepare well and deliver the large group talk with excellence…that matters
  • when we greet people and connect with parents after the service…that matters
  • when I help a new family find their kid’s small group…that matters
  • when check-in goes well, that matters
  • when I introduce a teen to their new small group leader, the connection matters
  • every time we help someone connect with a ministry outside our “area” is huge
  • when we help answer a guests question about the church, yep it is a big moment
  • connecting with that person I don’t know and hearing their story…that time is awesome

Every person on our staff and every volunteer can look for an opportunity to help someone else have a great Sunday. When we serve someone else that’s a win! When we take time out of what is expected of us to go the extra mile that’s a win. When we step up when no one is asking, that’s a win! What can you do to help someone have a better experience in your environment? Think about what you can do this week!

In family ministry, volunteers, youth ministry
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Can Parents Trust your Ministry?

May 14, 2013 — Leave a comment

What does it look like for student and children’s ministry leaders to partner with mom and dad? We are always trying to find ways to make this happen but the best starting place for this discussion is asking what parents need from us? Until our ministries meet our parents where they are at then they will never take steps toward a weekly partnership. Every parent your ministry encounters is unique. With every parent you have to build trust before there is a partnership. In order to build that trust here are a few basic things your parents need…

  • Return calls and emails >> seriously, just email them back and call them back when you miss their call. Make sure parents know they are important by being responsive.
  • Get organized or find people for your team who can make you look organized >> I am not very organized but I have had to surround myself with people who are! Being organized communicates professionalism.
  • Create sticky environments for kids and teens >> When teens and kids want to go back and ask to go back to your environment parents smile.
  • Communicate, communicate, and then communicate some more >> use facebook, emails, flyers, or old fashioned smoke signals to communicate. Information is a big deal to parents.
  • Keep an open door with your environments >> when parents want to check out your environment make it possible.
  • Protect kids and teens >> think like a parent. Use background checks, stop pranks and hazing, have safe transportation. Parents want their children to be protected and you can help with that goal and still have an amazing ministry!
  • Deliver on your promises >> be home when you say you will be home from a retreat or event. That is just one issue but you get what I am saying!
  • Listen >> when parents give you feedback listen and say thanks. You may not agree with their feedback but listening is huge factor when building trust.

I think if we start with the basics we can build trust. Trust leads to partnership! What changes do you need to make in order to start building that bridge?

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In family ministry, Orange, Parenting, youth ministry
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Rethinking “Baby Dedication”

May 13, 2013 — Leave a comment

P1010628Baby Dedication…every church has some form of it. Here at our church we did it for years in autopilot. We liked it. We enjoyed seeing families on stage. We prayed over babies and it was a special time but we never slowed down long enough to move beyond cute. I am pro baby dedication but I wonder what might happen if you slow down for a few minutes and rethink what you do in this special time in the life of a family.

Two years ago we began to rethink what we did with baby dedication. We purchased a resources from Orange called Baby Dedication Celebration and we formatted a new process that would help our church invest in families. We even changed the name to Parent Dedication because in reality we are strategically asking parents to make commitments and dream about the future they desire for their child.

Here are a few steps we have made to make our version of baby dedication help parents think intentionally about how they will parent and how they can partner with our church…

  1. We developed a clear system // we made sure when parents asked to have their child dedicated we had clear and easy next steps for them to take. If parents don’t have clear direction for HOW to be a part of this process they will miss the message you want them to get!
  2. We made it a big party // we put a ton of effort into making the Parent Dedication day a very special day. We want to communicate that this is a big deal to us and we go all out to make it a fun party. Everyone likes a good party! This also means we took this dedication time out of our adult services so we could give it the attention it needs! This is a different service just for families and we do it on Sundays so families can be there!
  3. We raised the bar for parents // we give the parents steps to take before the dedication. We have three talks we want every parent to hear before they make this commitment.
  4. We assigned important homework // we ask parents to come to dedication with some homework they have spent time on. Every parent shares an “imagine the end” statement they have written for their child. This is a chance for parents to actually write down where they hope their child will end up when they leave home in 18 years!
  5. We give parents resources (and a cool gift) // we give every family a cool monogrammed baby bag from our church at the dedication service. We also give them a parenting book to help continue the parenting journey and enforce the idea of partnership.

These are five steps that helped us take Parent Dedication to another level. We leaned on the Baby Dedication Celebration material from Orange to help us created an experience to best fit our church. I hope you will take time this week to rethink baby dedication in your setting.

Make sure you are maximizing a season when parents are curious and asking for partnership!

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In children's ministry, family ministry
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Parents vs. Social Media

May 10, 2013 — Leave a comment

Parents guideThere is always some new challenging issue parents have to deal with as their kids wander into the teenage years. The Social Media issue has been around for a while and we are all just now really beginning to feel the impact of being so connected all the time. There is no doubt that social media is shaping the way teens interact with each other and with their parents. We know the power of social media but very few families have a plan in place when it comes to helping their kids find balance in such a connected world.

What if we could help parents navigate this issue with their child? If you are a student pastor or  kids pastor that invests in 4th and 5th graders I am hoping you will connect with the team at ParentMinistry.Net for their next free webinar. Adam Mclane from the Youth Cartel is going to lead us through a session on helping parents deal with social media. You are going to have parents asking you about this issue so why not jump in a FREE WEBINAR and process the issue with other leaders from around the country. There is limited space so make sure and hold you spot today!

Get informed, get the facts, get a strategy and invest in the parents your ministry influences!

In children's ministry, Parenting, youth ministry
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Monsters in Your Small Group

May 8, 2013 — Leave a comment

monsters

In every small group at every age level there are monsters that show up from time to time. Sometimes it’s a controversial idea that divides the group. Sometimes it’s a new member that throws the flow of the group off. Sometimes it’s drama that one of your small group family is facing. Small group monsters appear in all shapes and sizes and always seem to show up at the most inconvenient time.

When you were recruited you to be a small group leader they probably left out the training section on facing small group monsters. They didn’t do this intentionally…they really just wanted you on the team! They also knew that the only way to learn about small group monsters is to experience them first hand. You can hear about them from any small group leader but it’s not until you have to confront one that you understand that how you deal with them has powerful repercussions on the health of your group.

When it comes to small group monsters ignoring them only places the health of your group in danger. Here are a few common group monsters and a few reminders as you confront each one.

  • Monster #1 (the our of control new guy!) When new folks show up at group it can be a challenge to integrate and build trust. You have the lead the way to translate your group culture to them and you have to work hard to build bridges so they can connect relationally within the group. You also have to be firm with new folks about group norms and help them adjust. As the leader you have to be an integrator and an includer as you help everyone adjust!
  • Monster #2 (the crazy life crisis) Someone in your group will face a life crisis during the year. It’s your role to help everyone focus on Jesus more than the crisis. You also have to help your group see Jesus in the middle of the struggle. Your group can’t be allowed to be dominated by crisis…with leadership it can help everyone in group move through it!
  • Monster #3 (the dramatic drama) At some point you will watch people in your group get sucked into a fight that leads to glorious drama. Demand people talk face to face and not digitally. Demand group members confront the issue not tear each other apart. Protect everyone in the middle of the drama and work to expose it and move past it!
  • Monster #4 (the fight to be right) A small group demands people connect and when people connect many times they disagree. The goal of small group is to live in community with others not to become clones where everyone agrees on everything. It has to be OK to Disagree! Create that culture.
  • Monster #5 (the attention junky) You can never allow one person to dominate a group. At some point you have to call attention junkies out for the good of the group. Be firm but loving for the good of everyone.

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In family ministry, small group
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Dealing with the Squeaky Wheel

May 7, 2013 — 1 Comment

squeakywheelThe squeaky wheel get’s the grease. You have probably heard that saying hundreds of times from a hundred different people. It’s true that the loudest problems in your organization will probably get your attention but what if the loudest problem is really just a distraction from what matters most?

I see many leaders who spend most of their time running from squeaky wheel to squeaky wheel. They mean well. They are trying to address problems in the organization. They really want things to improve but the truth is that the squeaky wheels seem to consume these leaders.

The truth is that squeaky wheels sometimes consume me and I find myself believing that if I can solve that one issue all will be well in the universe. What I am learning is that the “volume” of a problem does not determine the significance of the problem for the team I lead. Sometimes problems are just loud and annoying and need to be properly framed and placed in the proper priority for the organization.

Here are a few things I am learning about squeaky wheels…

Squeaky wheels reveal an issue but you determine the priority.

Squeaky wheels may be loud but you determine if it is really a problem to solve or a tension to manage.

Squeaky wheels sometimes just need to be reminded of the vision and mission of the organization.

Squeaky wheels do not determine if your organization is effective because every organization faces problems.

Squeaky wheels do not control your calendar, you do! Give it time if it really matters!

Squeaky wheels can’t just be ignored because they just get louder over time.

Don’t allow squeaky wheels to intimidate you. This week put them in proper perspective, confront them, and realize there will be another one next week!

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In leadership, multi-site
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